T H A T . G U Y

What is it with women? We meet a guy that we know little about: just their basic stats - single, tall, ruggered, outdoorsy, age appropriate, lives local, has job - all good . Then you spend four hours with him on your first date; cover the standard topics - travel, family, friends, interests, music, food - you flirt a little with each other, speak about places you haven't been too; "Hey, we should go there" - "Yeah that'll be great..." You text each other a couple of times and then nothing.... nothing... And then it consumes you. 

This happened to me last year. It had been a long time since I had been on a date with a guy that I really wanted a second date with. I have had numerous second and third dates but lately only to see if I'd missed something on the first that would make them someone that I'd actually like to spend more time with; were they nervous on the first and making conversation was difficult, or did they say something inappropriate because they'd had too much to drink, or did they really believe those shoes were the best choice... Trying to break the habit of my so called "type" and to start dating men who I knew weren't for me but everyone else thinks would be GREAT for me. Those nice guys, but not the right nice guy for me. In the end I really should just go with my gut and not waste anyone's time with the second date. 

But with this guy, I wanted the second date. I believed that there would be a second. Like really believed. No doubt in my mind. As my friend kept saying "focus on what you want, it will happen". I focused so hard, my pupils hurt and nothing. I was so consumed with this awful self doubt, sadness, my hope washed away and vulnerability totally exposed. 

What happened to the "courtesy call" or these days it's a simple text? It so easy... "hey, great to meet you but just don't think I want to take this any further". That's it. You can't question this and why do you want too if they've basically said "I'm just not that into you." Gentleman take note: this text would solve hours of self doubt, loathing and questioning for a women. Really what i should have started this entry with was 
- What is it with MEN!!?! x

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