I once went on a date with a guy- let's call him dickie - I met dickie on a dating site. After the initial emails back and forth we exchanged numbers and to my surprise (and happiness) he actually used my number to CALL me to arrange meeting up. *Men, women like to hear your voice. So, dickie was starting out with high expectations. We met on a Sunday afternoon at a local pub for a few quiet drinks. He was by all accounts a nice guy; he insisted on paying for everything, paid adequate attention to me, asked questions, and shared things about his life. 

We had a genuinely good afternoon, so much so that I was unable to make work the following day from a nasty case of alcohol poisoning. My friends were excited about dickie; he had, in their opinion ticked all the right boxes but in my so called "boxes" the physical attraction box had a large X. To my better judgement I decided to not write him off, after all we'd had a good time and perhaps my attraction would grow. 

BUT then dickie CALLED a couple of nights after our date. Though this time, while he was away for work, at the pub with his work mates, and drunk. What followed went something like this... 

  • dickie (drunk) "baby, so nice to talk to you... how you been?."
  • me (perplexed) - baby...? hmm... ooh... me... "hey dickie, sounds like you're out"
  • dickie (drunk) "yeah, we're playing poker. baby! I was thinking of you last night"
  • me (perplexed) "ooh, you sound busy [read: drunk], give us a call tomorrow"
  • dickie "no baby, not too busy for you. you want to know what I was doing when I was thinking about you last night? I took pictures..."
  • me (perplexed) - NO NO "ooh... um... right. hey dickie, perhaps we should talk tomorrow"
  • dickie (drunk/annoyed)"you don't want to see my pictures?"
  • me (perplexed) "just don't think that it's appropriate right now. I just met you a couple of days ago. Perhaps I'd like to see them in a few months once we get to know each other..."
  • dickie (annoyed/hostile/drunk) " fine! be a prude! thought it would be a little fun."
  • me (perplexed) "dickie, think about it. If in the morning you think it's a good idea then send them, but sending them tonight, nothing good is going to come of it"

Why ooh why did I not listen to my gut. Moments later my phone beeps and there is the torso; accompanied with the text "God doesn't like cowards". Not sure when or why God got involved but here we were, the three of us. "Well dickie, that you're not" was my reply and this translated in his drunkeness as; that picture is not you! So, boom! - full male nude frontal, erect, shaved and with filter for a natural flattering tan. My response "I have no words". And those were the last words dickie received from me... x

No comments:

Post a Comment